This One is for the Girls: Effer's of the Week

This one's for the girls who SlowEff without holding back. The SlowEffSquad acknowledges that sloweffing is not just a one man or woman show. It takes two baby, it takes two. So in an effort to accomodate the interests of the other half of the pie, the lady half, we will be discussing topics that are more focused on you. Here are two things that I felt, after consulting my feminine experts, should be discussed.
Chris Brown- you break my heart you effing eff. first off, I most certainly loved your chili when you dropped Kiss Kiss and Wall to Wall was also a personal favorite of mine as well. To top that off you start dating Rihanna who is way hot and in doing so the two of you formed a smoking hot under 21 musical duo. Not so fast, your dumbass just Effed that pretty piece of music industry history right in its rump. First off, you don't hit ladies...ever. Furthermore, you don't hit hot, famous ladies with millions of adoring fans who are, in most cases, your fans as well. Now you face serious charges and I don't know if I can ever love you like I did..
Jason the Bachelor- I followed this season loosely, atleast enough to know what the skinny was on each girl left in the last few rose ceremonies. That being said, I fully agreed with the last two girls you had to choose from. I was certainly hoping with all my heart that you would pick Molly, mostly because I just felt as though she "Got You". Then, in a stunning sequence of events you pick Melissa, who in my personal opinion, looks like a "naughty girl" and I attributed your selection to traits surrounding that image (ie she's a sweet eff). Not sure why you went and did that Jaybo the Gaybo because then you flipped it on us again by dumping Melissa after realizing your feelings for Molly were just too strong to ignore. While it is commendable to be honest with yourself and the woman your with, the manner in which you handled this has left you getting hated on by millions of women errrvrywhere. Douche

God, this post has left me extremely emotional. I can only hope that these two "Effer's of the Week" have learned from their experiences. I could care less about Jason the Douchelor but Chris, oh sweet Chris. How i danced alone to your music and loved it...please find some way to redeem yourself after this ugly incident so I can one day dance alone again to your beats.