Tragedy Strikes American Hero Abroad

After a long night of drinking with Babe, the blue ox, Paul Bunyan awoke missing more than his dignity. Police have secured the crime scene and have brought in Lorena Bobbet for questioning.

Although this was thought to be an isolated incident, officials are now concerned about a repeat offender after photos of Babe surfaced this morning.

While in search of Sheriff of Nottingham, Robin Hood gets lost in Bronx; shoots traffic court officer instead

After dropping off fellow parishioners from church, Denise Delgado-Brown thought she'd been hit in the stomach with a baseball... PSYCHE BITCH! it was a 30 inch arrow. After screaming bloody murder, she was taken to St Barnabas Hospital where she's expected to fully recover from her encounter with the Prince of Thieves. Police do not suspect any foul play, however Friar Tuck has been contacted for questioning.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03162009/news/regionalnews/bronx/woman_hit_with_30_inch_arrow_speaks_out_159862.htm

Plans for this weekend?

Bear Market Got You Scared?

Well CHEER UP!
Madoff is in jail and the market is on the rise.
Citi stock is up 50% and the future is looking bright for this former penny stock mega-bank.
And most importantly, Britney Spears is back on tour and doesn't look like Crystal, the meth-whore mother of two.

prognosis: Recession OVER

Now get back to lickin' that bulls nuts for the big payout:

SPRING BREAK....

Besides clubbing in San Francisco, when else do you get to rub shoulders with 600 other shirtless men?

Good times...

Warning: a high five conducted in a cowboy hat, while in water should only be done by professionals...it is both dangerous and douchey.

Wonder where all of those tax dollars go? Can't find the remote?

This 400lb Silverback has both.

As part of his Christmas present last year, Nico was upgraded to HD service to go along with his new HDTV.

Hope you like Meerkat Manor.

Breakfast is NO EFFING JOKE!

Mom always said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But she also said that if I was a good boy, a fat old man would break into our house with toys and this would be a good thing. Credibility lost. Thank God that Denny's is here to remind us that while Mom may have made up the monster under my bed to get me to go to sleep, she was dead effing serious about breakfast. Yes, chocolate doo diddles are tasty and who in their right mind would pass up extra giggle drops? But when we get down to it, what our bodies really need are stacks of pancakes, lots of eggs and any pork product grilled and seasoned in it's own fatty waste.


Thank you Denny's. And go eff yourself, Nannerpuss.

Little less teeth and he really would be man's best friend