Prescription...Go Eff Yourself

Dear Terrell Owens,

While you may be a physical specimen, have the second most passes caught for touchdowns, 6 pro bowl selections and a very healthy bank account, you are a Douche Bag in every wonderful sense of the word.
Terrell Eldorado Owens I Effing hate you. For starters, sweet middle name Eldorado... Ha that's most likely the name of the sleazy motel where you were conceived. You are a ruinous piece of shit. Everything you touch, everywhere you go, things get good and then get totally effed. San Fran-- you complain about your contract and call your qb gay in a city where being gay is en vogue to begin with. Next stop, Philly. I have to admit, I was a hesistant optimist when you arrived. Yeah you had a great season, recovered from a serious injury and played a great super bowl. Problem is, right after that you start effing things up, causing all sorts of problems and hating on the captain and QB McNabb. What's your effing deal man. Can't you roll with the ups and downs of life and sports? The answer is cleary No. So, you get your season hacked in half cause they don't deal with bitches like you in philly. Then you create a mediea circus and ruin errrvrything.
Next stop, the stars at night, are big and bright...clap clap clap clap...deep in the heart of Texas. Welcome to the cowboys where Effers like yourself have made names for themselves both with their mouths and their performance. Seemed like a perfect fit. Next thing you know you can't get through the playoffs, you're crying about "my quarterback" at a press conference and you attempt to OD on hydrocodone. I don't mind the supporting your teammate stuff but get it together. Now, as for the "allergic reaction" ,or rather your excuse for an attempt to off yourself with painkillers...coughpussy...cough. Seriously Terrell Eldorado, what a weak drug of choice to take yourself out with. NO combo upper downer, No pure H, just painkillers? Painkillers are for pain and when used recreationally, should be taken with friends on "off days" while playing video games. You ruined your own suicide man, that's not supposed to happen and your life probably wasn't supposed to happen and I truly hope that you winning a super bowl never happens. And now your dumbass got cut from the cowboys...who's gonna want you now Terrrrreeeeelllllll? Some fuck i bet...Rant over...Go Eff Yourself.