Streaming Updaters= Go Eff Yourselves

I'm sooooo effing tired of reading completely unnecessary shit that streams from "status messages" on facebook via my news feed. Why any of these people are under the impression that others care to keep a minute by minute log of their facebook friends whereabouts is beyond me.
Dr. SlowEff has yet to figure out just what type of person it takes to post these streaming messages of personal doo doo butter. As such, I have conducted a sweep of my facebook news feed in search of some of the most horrendous violators of this new age personal pathetic update system,also known as a PPUS or PathetiPuss.

I hope you know these people and I hope some of them read this...its not out of hate, but rather, out of love that I have called attention to this gross misconduct.

wishes more than just one of my RSS feeds would update itself :(
- This person is maybe the number one worst status messanger ever,what the Eff is an RSS feed you dork and why oh lord why do I need to hear about your wishes.

reading some articles this morning... at least I have coffee!!! :0)
- Well isn't this great, you have coffee to help you through some articles...this makes me feel better about having coffee and reading a case file...thanks loser

was so tired a few hours ago, why am I wide awake right now? Damn insomnia...
- OHHH, isn't this a shame. Am I supposed to spend my day feeling sorry that this person I sort of know is having a rough bout with insomnia...NOPE

wonders how you stuff a marshmallow into a piggy bank
-Ahh, the creative updater, asking me questions I'll be forced to dwell upon for the remainder of my life...I don't care about how a marshmallow fits in an effing piggy bank, i only care that it fits in my mouth>>(What she said..oh snap)

just discovered Mistos at Starbucks and is now obsessed
-Well isn't that great. It seems you went to Starbucks and read the menu...clap clap clap...maybe I'll go get a misto because of this.

What scares me most about this new wave of PPUS is that it is spreading rapidly. There is now this awful thing called Twitter that has pro basketball players posting at halftime and pretty much anyone with access to the Internet hoping to get their thoughts (that i don't care about) across to the world. Dr.'s Prescription= go eff yourselves
This video says it all...whether facebook streaming updates or Twitter tweeting, its all just yapping about your unnecessary, unexceptional life.