24 Recap: First C Gets on Her Knees to Appease P

In a tense 60 minutes of pure adrenaline, we learned 2 things: Bauer is effed and Coach Kilmer means business. First, bauer is showing some drastic changes in only about 2 hours of being infected. As the symptoms progress, his ability to fight terrorists is greatly compromised. This, however, opens the door for some vintage Tony Cool takedowns and neck snaps. Tony hasn't skipped a beat and knows he has to rise to the occasion with Bauer on the sidelines. Speaking of doors opening it seems as though that miracle cure for Bauer's illness does exist, in the form of stem cell treatment. Now we can add another hot button topic, stem cell research, to the writer's already controversial commentary of terrorism, foreign affairs, and torture. And of course, in order to use stem cells were going to need a next of kin to do research on; all signs point to Miss Kimberly Bauer making a special appearance in upcoming installments.

Now, onto the business. A tense standoff took place on Starkwood's private miliatry base between the FBI and Starkwood's militia. The FBI stood down but managed to sneak Tony out of the pack thanks to a sick left hook diversion delivered by Agent Moss. Once Tony Ju-jitsued his way into the biochemical lab he was able to confirm that they do iin fact possess the power to infect tens of thousands of people. The President authorized a missle attack on the base but was forced to standown after Coach Kilmer threatened to launch the biochemicals at major cities on the East Coast- setting up a face to face meeting next week with the Pres and poss First C.

Speaking of that whore, the First C got what's coming to her (that's what she said) by a reverse whammy swoop and sqwat carried off by her ex flame and tv reporter turd ferguson. In an effort to qwell the story of WMDs, the First C decided it would be easier to get on her knees to save her mother's name by blackmailing her newsman exflame. In a secret sex tape rivaled only by Paris Hiltons, the C used some trickery in making sure that the story wouldn't break. A doubley douchey move indeed.

Next week brings some tense moments so heads up...