Open Letter: To The Most Interesting Man In The World

Dear Mr. Most Interesting Man In The World,

The first time I viewed your Dos Equis commercial I was enchanted. Let's just say you had me at "hello", a word you probably know in every language. You play Hi Li, you live vicariously through yourself and you once had an awkward moment just to see how it felt....boom, I'm sold on you and 100% interested. At the very end of the commercial, surrounded by hot chicks in a swanky lounge setting, you remind us all to "stay thirsty" and let me tell you, after hearing those tidbits about you I was thirsty as eff to learn more. Thank god there were follow up commercials with more extremely interesting facts about you...how you speak French in Russian, how you can disarm a man with your looks or your hands, how you don't carry credit cards because your personality is too magnetic and how your blood smells like cologne( hit me two times bitches). Next I find out that in addition to the stream of commercials that provide interesting information about you, there are also many short clips in which you address random interesting topics such as "careers", "red dresses", "those nuts", "packages", "grooming" and the importance of "life". Of course all these topics are discussed while you sit there with that beard of yours, the one that has "experienced more than a lesser man's body", yeah that's the one.

I mean what the eff man...you are the balls and the shaft and I absolutely want to be you. I'm not quite sure how I would go about it of course but I've started a personal exploratory committee, chaired by myself, to "explore" the possibility of becoming as interesting as you.

Is there anything that you just don't do or have yet to consider doing? Maybe taming lions, going back and getting a couple Doctorates in East Asian studies and Botany or achieving certification as a sommelier, I really don't know, but I'm confident you have a plan and you'll see it through. I'd have to say it is that last fact, the having a plan and seeing it through that I respect the most about you...you have lived a life daring to do new and "interesting" things and what's more, you accomplished those goals and continue to set out new ones. You are truly a maverick renegade and I applaud your life choice and take everything you say literally...also, dos equis is cool with me.

Sincerely,

Dr. Sloweff

P.S. will you be my sensei?

P.P.S what grade beard trimmer do you use?



and this one is just amaing "and then I taught a horse to read my emails" hahahaha