Little less teeth and he really would be man's best friend

CheeeeeeeeesesSteaks

I Effing lofve Cheesesteaks. Any way you put it i cannot get enough of that simple steak, cheese and roll triple threat. You name the occasion, I eat the cheesesteak. Breakfast...Check, lunch...Check, late afternoon snack...check, dinner...check, pre bar...check, post bar...check, won something...check, lost something...check, just had sex...check, just got dumped...check. It's basically my fail proof, number one stunna of a meal.

Many people will say that the best Cheesesteaks are from Philadelphia. While I would never argue with the famous cheesesteak heavens that are Gino's and Pat's of south philly...



I personally believe the best kept cheesesteak secret rests in Carlisle, PA. Miseno's of Carlisle nails the cheesesteak...like yum, yum, yum. Perfect roll, finely chopped steak, perfectly melted with two to three slices of cheese and your choice of toppings...lettuce, tomato, mayo or onions, peppers, sauce...either way its effing awesome. When I sink my teeth into one of these babies im in Fat Kids Paradise

What The Eff Is Up With These Ads?

No matter if you're a facebook regular or just stopping by for a casual poke, you've undoubtedly seen advertisements for an "Impossible IQ Question" featuring a human with multiple sets of eyes. The annoying ad dares me to guess how many eyes are actually featured on the person and goes on to say “Most people get this question wrong.” Three things run through my head:

1. That person is freaking me out

2. It looks like there are 6 eyes, what can be so hard about that? The easy answer is 6 eyes What if I’m wrong? I don’t want to be wrong with anything concerning IQ and IQ related challenges, so I look harder at the image, which leads me to:

3.I think im going to have a seizure from looking at this effing baby with 16 eyes.


My point is, I don’t want an IQ challenge to egg me into some effing website that’s going to tell me how wrong I am because obviously there’s a catch here. Get the eff out of my face 24 eyed baby.

It squeaks when you bang it

The first of many in this category. What an amazing concept the writers and cast of The Office have come across with this catchy zinger. Enjoy...T.W.S.S.

Has McDonalds Gone Too Far?

In a recent perverted marketing ploy sure to grab your attention, McDonalds has turned to a more "in your face" method of selling their food. On print ads in the store, as well as on bags and food wrappers, it seems the fast food juggernaut has taken a sticky page out of the X-rated industry’s book when coming up with one-liners such as “100% Beefy, Satisfaction x 2”, “Beefy Score”, and my personal favorite “YOU WANT SAUSAGE? YOU GOT SAUSAGE”. Is the chain simply trying to grab your attention, or grab something else? We’ll let you decide, but for now, I’d keep the kids away from their Happy Meal.



Something about "el doble de sabrosura" gets my motor running



That's what she said



You want fries with that?

Pretty much a Slow Eff Anthem

Don't Tell Your Friends Our I'll Call You A Slut

Prescription....go eff yourself

So I will often take everyday observations, thoughts, gripes, over grinded gears, etc.. and share my personal/professional diagnosis as to the worth, point and legitimacy of noted topics.

First up...old ladies in fur coats. I've got a serious issue with you old furbags and it is in noooo way related to PETA. I know they are somebodies grandma and for that we love them, but really?


Old women in fur — muuuuuurrrrrrderers, how can you even take yourself seriously? First off, that look is so damn old school to begin with. You certainly aren’t putting off an air of high society by wearing small chinchilla or rabbit out on the town. And I know through minimal fashion research and an above average sense of style that your outerwear is not cutting any edge, its simply cutting pelts. Pelts of rodents, yeah, that’s something I want to wear, are you effing kidding me? You might as well be the bird lady wearing that kind of garb around town. Yeah, that’s right, a bird lady, like the one from Home Alone: New York, surrounded by pigeons and their shit, tossing breadcrumbs all over you like some skanky goddess. I've been in NYC for about 2 months now and I see you creatures errrrvrywhere. The Upper East is locked and stocked with you, the theater district is practically your motherland and worst of all, the recycled-homeless person fur...often times patched up with the hide of central park squirrel. I’m not even in this for the animals here, I just can’t stand to watch you beastly old women walking around like giant rats…

Diagnosis....Go Eff Yourself

slow eff formation is established

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Slow Eff will feature commentary on a myriad of different social, athletic, gastronomical, and political postings written by our eclectic team of slow eff contributors. Categories include, but not limited to:

"The Nice Guy's World"
"Fat Kid's Paradise"
"Random Musings"
"Everyday 'That's What She Saids'"

Among others


stay tuned....

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this site is intended to be your one stop for high stakes shinanigans and musings

so sit back, relax and get ready to be slow effed.